Starvation 4 Perfection

now that’s more like it! Goodnight my lovely ladies. Hope you had as good of a day as I did. NO BINGE! And I kept my calories super low, about 200 for the day. hehe so happy =]

Okay, so this is what I bought. Here is some information about it:

“In addition to the ingredients that several of the leading products contain, Fat Cleanse also contains Green Tea Extract (to increase your metablolism), Dandelion Root Extract (to promote urinary tract health, aids in flushing toxins, and reduces water weight build up), Passion Flower Extract (to fight fatigue, anxiety, and nervousness & calms night-time craving), Inulin (from Chicory Root) (to ease the laxative symptoms), and Apple Pectin (to aid in proper digestion of nutrients and to act as an antioxidant to assist with cleansing of the fat).”

So I take 2 pills, three times daily. One before breakfast, one before dinner and one before bedtime. This is also like, super cheap. Only 10$ in some places, and I got it for like 12$. Not bad eh? I’m looking forward to them working! =]

[ Going through changes, by Eminem ]

Alrighty. So I’m back from “holiday”. Wasn’t really much of a holiday.. I didn’t gain any weight, but I didn’t lose any of the weight that I gained in Quebec. I’m still at that extra 5 pounds that I don’t want to be. Since I’m home, and am remaining at home till this weekend (I’m going back to A’s house..), This whole week I am restricting hardcore, I am starting my diet pills, and I am taking my laxative tea regularly. I’m getting rid of this gross fat that’s latched hold of me and it’s never coming back. I’m exercising twice as much as I did before, which means jogging 40 minutes instead of 20, doing 250 ish sit ups, 100 squats, and then my usual yoga routine. Then I’m skipping breakfast (well, I’m replacing it with my tea), plus no lunch (again, tea.), and then if I can get out of it I won’t have dinner, or I’ll just not eat very much of it. I guess this won’t really be a fast, but I’ll try to restrict my daily intake to 500 calories. That should get me back on track, and to my weight that I was before I left to Quebec, which should be easy because that weight won’t be that “permanent” weight gain, you know?

Anyways, I’m going to finish up here and then go get ready and start exercising. Wish me lucky my beauties! I love you all.

Don’t you guys worry! I haven’t forgotten about you. I have just been on holiday. That’s good and also very bad. I haven’t weighed myself but I’m positive I’ve gained another five pounds. But no worries, I’ve let myself go because the week before school and during school is going to be HARDCORE restricting. I’m going to be skinnyyyyy! I’ll be back on the 30th. Looking forward to be back! Byeee lovies.
P.S. I MISS YOU DEE! hope you’re doing okay!

wooow, you guys have no idea how good it feels too finally come back! I can finally get back to eating the way I was before I left. The end of the trip was a disaster because I weighed myself this morning, and I GAINED FUCKING 5 POUNDS! What did I tell you? I knew it! I knew I was going to fucking gain a shit ton of weight! I’m SO dissapointed in myself because I barely watched what I ate… UGH I HATE MYSELF. And another really bad thing is that I have today for myself where I can limit as much as I want, then I’m leaving for ANOTHER fucking holiday with my family tomorrow! Wich means gaining even MORE weight! AHHHH I just want to scream as loud as I can right now! I’m a stupid fuck for letting myself do that to me. Ana, where were you when I needed you the most? FML!!! I don’t even know how long this new “holiday” is going to last… School is right around the corner and I don’t want to be even MORE fat than I already am. Jesus Fuck. I’m pissed. I am currently drinking that Laxitive Tea I bought and I will drink two more glasses later today. I need to rid some of this grossness inside. Wow… I think I’m going to go cry now…

Omg, it feels like forever since I wrote on here! I MISS IT! (don’t get me wrong, I read your guys’ blogs as much as I could, I just didn’t have time to write).

Quebec was good. Not great, not bad. But good. Me and my friend ended up butting heads quite a bit, and we pretty much ate a ton everyday. GROSS. There is soo much to write, but I am pretty tired because I’ve been travelling all day. I’ll post a better update tomorrow.

I’ll just say a few quick things though:

- I got diet pills!

- I got some laxitive tea stuff. (doesn’t taste bad at all!)

- and I wrote down all my goals on a sheet of paper and I am GOING to achieve them.

That is all. FYI, I love you all and I missed reading all your updates all the time. Well I’m back now, and I’ll be able to post a lot more! Talk to you beauties tomorrow! Night

Still in Quebec… Pretty much fml right there. I love being with my friends, but I just can’t handle all this EATING! It’s fucking killing me. I’m pretty sure I’ve already gained like 5 pounds. It’s gross. Anyways, I was just giving you guys a little update (kind of lol). I miss all you guys and not reading your blogs all the time. I’ll be back on the 18th. Talk to you beauties later. Love Harlow

I’m going to Quebec with my friend tomorrow morning, i’ll be there for 2 weeks. Is it bad that I’m not excited because I know I will gain a ton of weight? The last time I went to Quebec I gained like 15 pounds.. (over a 3 month span) but still.. Even two weeks is a lot. I’ll probably gain like 10 pounds. You know how much white bread they eat there? A LOT! It’s sick. Plus my friend keeps telling me about how her Aunt makes the best Meat Pies and I HAVE to try it. I told her that I was still a vegetarian (she was supposed to be one with me, she blew it) and she just said oh fuck it, you are going to try it no matter what! And my friend, well.. she likes to pig out. So pretty much everytime I go out with her, we end up getting food, or like candy. She knows that I am weight conscious, but she doesn’t know about my new eating and exercise habbits.. Hopefully I can get the control I need to stay strong and not gain too much weight.. Wish me lucky everyone.

This is about control.

[ Fashion, by Lady Gaga ]

That song is perfect thinspiration. Just listen to it if you ever feel like eating. The whole song is just about how good clothes look on her because she’s skinny. So just wait until clothes will look that good on you when you’re at your goal weight!

So right at this moment I just finished baking some whole wheat bread! (I love to bake if you haven’t already notice).. Which kind of sucks because then I end up eating whatever it is that I bake. But today I won’t. Today I am going to be good. After I finish this post I am going to go for a  walk with my dog, then workout in my room. So far I’ve only had a skinny latte (40 calories) and a hard boiled egg for protein. Hope the rest of the day goes well, and I hope all you ladies are doing good too! =]