Moons and Monsters

A is for anger

My sister decided to give me a massive thing of Cadbury chocolate – crunchie flavour.  And I mean massive, 70 blocks in it.  My silly pms made me crave the sugar which is irritating because I normally don’t like chocolate.

But I ate some of it… and puked it up with my coffee. sigh. I never wanted to have any sort of bulimic tendencies, but its hard to resist now I’ve started. Four years of anorexia and anorexia only, and in the space of two weeks this purging is taking me down. Although technically I’m EDNOS seeing as I’m above 17.5 bmi.

On the bright side, B gave me possibly the greatest hug ever today. It was just good in its hugliness. She started wearing her hair down more. I think its because of me saying it looked good like that. Shes also eating much healthier. I think its also because of me, but I really hope it isn’t. I just want her to be fine and healthy and not even be thinking about her weight. Shes sleeping over with me at my best friends place though this weekend, so I can just check on her eating habits.  I’m such a hypocrite, but I’d much rather she be happy and healthy and let myself be sick and maddened.

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