Summergirl

Yeah, I said, I hate freshmen. They freshmen in my school are majorly slutty, so they really do suck, but that’s not the problem. How the fuck do they eat so much and stay so skinny? I see the gorge gorge gorge on ice cream and cookies and cndy and sweets downtown ALLL of the time, but they never seem to gain a pound!

Today  I was planning on eating almost nothing, and I had a good plan too! Half a can of tuna for breakfast, half a can for lunch, and a low cal veggie burger for dinner, around 200 cals total.

Well, that was a fail! I ate the can of tuna for breakfast/lunch, but then was still hungry! A 30 cal popsicle, 200 cals of icecream and maybe 70 cals of dried cherries bring my calorie intake up to 500 already, and it’s barely after noon!

I just want a flat stomach and space between my thighs. Too much to ask?

Also, I gained some of the Paris weight back, up to 129 lb’s last night.

Suckyness has a name and it’s yummy food. bleh.

I wish I had the metabloism I had at 8, 10, 12, even 14! I will excersize more. I promise myself that. I want to go back to a comfortable size 0, from my now size 2.

I WILL do it.

Wish me luck, and I wish you your luck.

You all inspire me!

~Summergirl

Filed under Good Days 3 Comments

Next summer, I might spend eight weeks living and working with some friends in Nantucket. One of my friends is trying to get four or five girls together to rent a house and work down there for two months. Houses are between $500-$1500 a week during the summer there, so we will have to work a lot in order to both pay for where we are staying and get some spending money for when we go away to college that next year.

It wil be perfect for losing weight though. We will probably bring one car between the four or five of us, and we will all bring bikes and bike to work and stuff, and only use the car when we have to (no one wants to pay for gas money on top of everything else). And we don’t watch each others eating very much, so I can skip meals and stuff and not raise flags, especially if I’m waitressing at night, or at odd hours!

I’m really hopeful for then, but for now I’ve lost the weight I gained in Paris, and looking forward to losing even more.

Filed under Good Days No Comments

From now on I am going to be good. I will not binge. I will not gorge on gross fatty calorie loaded junk.

I will eat no more than 500 calories a day, and play tennis and work out every weekday and work out every weekend.

My ideal weight is 111, to be fairly happy with myself. 5″6 and 111 lbs. So I used a calorie counter to see how many calories with the amount of exercise I do, I would need to eat a day if I weighed 111 lbs, to stay that way. 1950 cal. Doesn;t that seem like a ton? I figure once I lose the 14 pounds seperating me from that weight, I can begin to eat like 1500 or so calories a day.

Filed under Good Days 2 Comments

http://i375.photobucket.com/albums/oo191/iamrosieee/wildfox2.jpg

http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg284/Picz-/skinny.gif

http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x153/emmabcd/skinny_model-1.jpg

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm270/joannathinspo/e4cb0d0642e0f086.jpg

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm270/joannathinspo/z72479106.jpg

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t96/ThinspoGirl/teakitchen.jpg

http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt262/glassgirl/thr6.jpg

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii42/lovelyaddict330/pic12.jpg

http://weheartit.com/entry/711642

http://whi.s3.prod.lg1x8.simplecdn.net/images/837117/z178998715_thumb.jpg

http://anamiafriends.webs.com/PROANA3.jpg

http://tata-bby.xanga.com/710144821/massssive-thinspiration/

http://myanalife.blogg.se/images/2009/thinspiration012_56793048.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3054/2773388195_fc51b8405a.jpg

Filed under Good Days 1 Comment

Sometimes I look at myself, and I see skinny, other times, I see fatfatfat.

I look and I see: skinny size zero, size two, eat the peach

or

I look and I see: 125 lb’s and you’re still eating? Fatfatfatfat FAT, you pig, put down the bread, put down the banana and look at your stomach! You’re fat enough to feed an entire third world country!

Sometime think I’m small and cute, but then I look again and I see ALL of my fat.

Filed under Good Days No Comments

The Small Version of Me, I read your blog the one from Tuesday the third, and it got me thinking:

-I eat; so I’m not anorexic
But I am constantly worried about everything entering my mouth, no matter how good it tastes.
- I don’t throw the food back up; so I’m not bulimic
I just can’t make myself throw up, I HATE throwing up, I would if I could, but I just can’t, I wish I could.
- Compulsive overeater
I do binge, and I binge badly, but then I purge purge purge. And I eat my emotions, so I guess this one sort of explains me. But I also purge my emotions, I don’t eat when I’m sad, but I become a fucking pig when I’m angry.

So what am I? EDNOS? I have disorder eating?

Filed under Bad days 3 Comments

So, finally bothered to look up ‘EDNOS’. Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. Same as DE, Disordered Eating. Well that’s me.

Mom made a huge dinner last night and made a huge fuss about us eating together, before flipping apeshit on me later int he night for not folding the towels. She screamed and screamed and slapped me, and it actually really hurt, so I emotions ate. I ate a TON of honey roasted peanuts, peaches and dried cherries. Eh.

Also, turns out I can’t go blueberry picking today, which sucks. But we convinced more people to play tennis with us, so we’re going to play for quite a while and do a mini tournament, which will be fun.

Another 500 cal breakfast this morning, but the mother is out with her friends today after work, so she can’t make me eat dinner.

I wish you luck and know that I support you.

~Summergirl baby

Filed under Good Days No Comments

Drank sooooo much water that I don’t think I’ll ever be hungry again. I leave for tennis in a few minutes and I’m excited to play with my friends!

Filed under Good Days No Comments

Rain. Rain. And more rain.

I’m not sure if it’s good or not, but all I’m eating today is breakfast, but it was HUGE. Two small pieces of cinnamon toast(80 x2) with butter(108) and sugar(60) and a nectarine(62)  and about a tablespoon of chocolate frosting(67). So thats 437. At breakfast. Bleh, well atleast that’s all I’m eating.

Then I was going to play tennis with some friends, we try to play for like an hour and a half 5-6:30 every weekday  afternoon, but I think because it’s all wet and rainy, they’ll all just come to my house and we’ll all work out for the hour and a half.

I’m going to fast tomorrow. I’m going blueberry picking with some friends, which usually means we split up and conquer the patch seperately, which means I can pick and pick and pick and say I ate a TON, so I don’t have to eat lunch witht hem, and I can say I ate a big breakfast before we went, and when I get home After the mother gets back from work, I’ll say I already ate a ton. YEA-UH!

And today after the mother gets home from work I can pull the same thing, “I was hungry after we worked out, so i ate dinner then.” So, this is pretty good. I feel like a whale, but other than that, it’s good!

Filed under Good Days No Comments

Back. Fat. Gross.

Things that went wrong with my trip:

Josey’s friend’s stupid seven year old daughter who I had to take care of

Breaking a bone near my pinky toe on my right foot

Having boiling coffee spilled on my left leg, and getting a big red burn

Ok, so firstly:

Josey’s friends’s stupid seven year old daughter:

Eller (Who names a little girl ‘Eller’ anyway?), was a tiny skinny wisp of a seven year old girl. She dressed cute, and was absolutely adorable. Cool, right? Well I met her on the first morning and thought ‘Aw, she’s adorable!‘, until Josey explained that Eller’s mom was going on a business trip for the time I was there, and since Josey was also working, they thought it would be a great learning experience for me, if I took care of her. Yeah. Fuck. It gets worse. The first day I took care of the little brat, not only did she purposely trip me(causing me to break my toe), she also went and snitched to Josey, when she got home from work, that I hadn’t eaten! She didn’t say anything to me all day, then went and snitched!  Well Josey flipped out, because she had been ana as a kid, and gave me a little flip note pad that she wanted me to write everything I ate in the day on, then show her at the end of the day. She even told Eller to watch what I wrote to make sure I was being honest. I ended up eating more jam, butter, nutella, crepes and ice cream that I’ve ever  eaten, total, in the rest of my life! Ew.

Secondly:

Nothing can be done about my broken toe, but I’m not supposed to run or play tennis, or swim or walk too much. cool. It’s also too swollen to wear flip flops, and it hurts.

thirdly: my leg is almost healed but still too red for shorts.

Well, atleast I’m back now! We’re going out to dinner tonight, but I wont eat anything until then!

Love you all!

Filed under Bad days No Comments