I hate evening meals..
They fuck everything up! i survive through the day on water and one hot chocolate when BOOM sausages, mashed potato, a tonne of vegatables and gravy, I HATE not knowing how many calories I just ingested, the thought of it makes me sick 
i simply cant tell my family about my ED because they will never let me live it down, things would be even worse if i confessed.
I often consider making myself sick but i have a great fear of the unknown, altho i suppose if its between facing my fears or remaining fat forever and never being truly happy i would give it a try..
I’m off to google purging now ¬.¬